Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
