we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it hurts more in the daytime
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
