You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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