So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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