its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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