In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
