he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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