last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
