And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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