I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
