Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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