Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize