five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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