$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Randomize
