You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i think im in europe. pls send help
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