I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
