If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
