Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
