EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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