Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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