omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
