She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
