I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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