4 words: hood of his car
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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