literally had 100 drinks last night.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I forget how to act sober
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
