just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wear drunk well.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
