I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
