fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
