We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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