It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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