Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
