I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
