so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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