If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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