Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
