you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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