I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
