make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
