I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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