He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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