you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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