what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
