i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
