corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
