mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
