You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize