just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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