I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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