I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize