You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
