So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
