Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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