i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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