There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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