At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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