Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So squirting runs in the family.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
