No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
