I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize