Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
