Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
