Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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