Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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