Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
