# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
